are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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