And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
