Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
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