Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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