I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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