My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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