i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
