Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
