wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
