Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
