I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
