Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
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Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
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Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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