My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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