dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
be right there i have to get my cape
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
