she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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