My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
