grandma shit on top of the toilet
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
