YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
