god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
