I want to stick my p in your. b.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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