Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
