We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
