Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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