I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize