Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
