does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Randomize
