you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
