mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Randomize
