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Non-Jews are for practice
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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