I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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