FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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