lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
