Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
