I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
