I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
