i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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