I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize