why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
