I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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