absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
