I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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