I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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