Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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