Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize