nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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