Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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