get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
