the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
