I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
