i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
