How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
