First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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