Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
