why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
