Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
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