I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
