Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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