But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize
