After last night, I could never be a politician.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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