how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
