Swine flu. Run for my life!
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
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He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
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I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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