They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
