So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
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