he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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