forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
