Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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