Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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