Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
