He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
