The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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